Reconciliation
by Demeter1973
Summary: Bill's journey to peace begins with an old acquaintance.  My first SVM fic.  Set during Dead in the Family.  Book spoilers.  Bill and Judith, Lorena.  Revised from one-shot to multi-chapter.  Officially AU now that Book 11 is out.
1. Chapter 1

Reconciliation

Fanfiction Based on the Southern Vampire Mysteries Series

Demeter 2010

Set During_ Dead in the Family_

All Characters Owned Solely by Charlaine Harris and Not By Me

_A/N – So I've been promising to write another Bill fic for a while . . . well, I thought it might be nice to explore Bill and Judith's past a bit more. Not knowing exactly how to begin, I decided use a wonderful, time-honored plot device to help me: The Flashback! Plus, I just like this particular story and thought it might be fun to continue their reunion and conversation in the midst of some flashbacks. Since Book 11 isn't out yet, I've got lots of leeway. _

_We'll see where we end up, then. Perhaps we'll continue their adventures in an AU if I get inspired. Anyway, enough dorking around from me now. Let's get to it! I want to dedicate this to all of the Bill-shippers out there who have made my day with their fics, reviews, and general camaraderie. And . . . thanks Duffie for getting me into this fandom in the first place. _

Chapter 1 - Reunion

She moved through the cemetery onto Compton land, sensing his presence and tracking him as she approached the stately old mansion. The joy she felt after her talk with Sookie Stackhouse, Bill's former lover, quickly evaporated. She perceived weakness and physical pain, but her biggest concern at that moment was his mental and emotional state. William Compton had never been what you would call gregarious or openly joyful, at least not during his 'second' life, which was all she knew of him. He was stoic, but not unfeeling. That was understandable, given the circumstances of his turning and his time with Lorena. Funny, the name of their maker still sent a shudder through the petite vampire, even knowing that she would never again torment them. But, through their long and arguably tumultuous history, she had never sensed in her sibling such despair and defeat, and she ached for him.

Actually, his brooding nature was a source of fascination and frustration for Judith Vardamon. Always had been. After the initial shock of her turning, she had become close to Bill. At least knowing him had made her time with Lorena less miserable. Getting to know Bill had been a joy, one shared by few vampires or mortals. She hoped that knowing her had made him feel the same. She suspected it did, though he didn't exactly say it. He never seemed to share much of his feelings, always being worried about her welfare, keeping her from facing the brunt of Lorena's cruelty. Like most men of his era, he was extremely protective of those for whom he cared. She knew he felt responsible for her turning, though it wasn't his fault. Is that why he didn't reach out to her, after Lorena met the sun? _Oh William Compton, you stubborn old fool! Well, we'll talk tonight, after I set you right._

She reached the front door and hesitated. She didn't need his permission to enter as would for a mortal's home, but she felt obliged to mind her manners. It wouldn't do to just barge in and demand that he drink from her, though it would serve him right! He should have called, he should have come to her himself. Concern and anger waged war within Judith, but she set anger aside for the moment. She and Bill would be talking about a great many things. Later.

She knocked lightly, and announced herself, "William? It's Judy. Can you make it to the door, honey?"

Judith heard heavy footfalls approaching. They stopped at the door. After what felt like an eternity (and that's a MIGHTY long time for a vampire), the door slowly creaked open. The only light emanating from inside came from candles, but she could see him well enough, of course, and the sight made her heart ache. It didn't beat anymore, but she felt a pang deep within her chest nonetheless. His skin was so grey, and she saw that he was leaning on a cane. He held her whole in his large dark eyes, wider now with surprise, perhaps disbelief. For a moment, she was certain that they flickered with a spark of life, though he closed them as he lowered his head. "Judith," he whispered, "it has been so long. Please, come in." He moved aside slowly and with great effort, allowing her to enter his home.

* * *

_Little Rock, Arkansas_

_April 9, 1902_

Bill Compton walked through the darkened streets of the city, contemplating how to acquire his meal for the evening. Perhaps he should splurge in honor of his birthday. _My birthday._ Were he speaking, his voice would reek of bitterness. He would be an old man of 62 were he human, though it was doubtful he would have survived that long. Though the modern world seemed full of many marvels these days, life was still a decidedly short, difficult, and treacherous undertaking for most people. He snorted to himself. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. The expanding railways made travel easier, a convenience for his kind, in spite of having to hop aboard in the dead of night and hide. Or, if they were fortunate, they could glamour unsuspecting passengers into lending their clothing and cash, enabling them to travel in style. Lorena enjoyed that, being so deprived in her human life. Bill admitted to himself that he found roaming the expanding nation by rail to be pretty exciting, too. But, most towns were beginning to blend. His wanderlust was drawing him westward. _Good thing, as it's still too soon to go home. Home._ He surprised himself by his attachment to Bon Temps.

He rarely allowed himself to indulge in self-pity in those days, or nostalgia. But his dark mood was growing even blacker as he contemplated the past and the present. Passing a poorly disguised back alley opium den, Bill knew hunting would be good and easy here. No one would miss indigent addicts, carefully chosen, nor the low rent Chinese dealers and brothel owners. They'd had much luck with this population in their last four towns. You could always find them along the railway. Indeed, human nature didn't change. Humans destroyed their bodies with poisons, cared little for those who differed from them, immigrants in particular, and those unfortunates who lived on the fringes were rarely missed. He smelled suffering and knew he could kill with a clear conscience, a relic Lorena had so often derided him for keeping as Vampire.

Lorena had 'secured' lodging for them in a run down farmhouse just outside of town. He could make it back on foot in less than half an hour, Vampire speed, but it would be easier to keep a horse. The tricky part was to keep the animal from being spooked. Dumb beasts of burden still had good instincts, and they were much better at recognizing him for what he was than most humans. He spotted a saddled mare attached to a coach in the alley. The coachman was nowhere in sight, and the passenger was likely inside for drugs or women. He smelled something acrid and familiar. Human urine, fresh. Moving in stealth, he placed himself between the brick wall and the carriage, peering through the windows to the other side. The coachman was relieving his bladder against the wall. He looked to be about five foot ten or so, and built sturdy, but not too big. Bill smiled to himself. _Perfect._

The man was buttoning his trousers when Bill caught his eye. He pulled out a revolver and started the stranger down, "Evenin' friend," he said, his smile crooked and his speech slurred. Apparently he'd been using his break for more than a piss. "You done taken a wrong turn, it seems. How about showing me them hands?"

"Don't want no trouble," said Bill, raising his hands, palms out.

"But you found it all the same," said the man, "I reckon I'll take any cash you got on you. Do right and you can leave with your life."

"How about you give me _your_ wallet, mister?" Bill said, his mind focused on the vile creature in front of him. "You can toss me your overcoat and hat while you're at it. And I'll be taking your carriage."

Eyes glazed, the coachman did as he was told. Bill decided to have a little chat with his benefactor as he dressed himself. "What brings you to this part of town, anyhow?"

"Taking a feller to the den. I got me a deal with the proprietor. I bring my fares to his place, and he gives me a cut. Gives me a little slant-eyed whore, too," he said.

"How generous," replied Bill.

"Not really," he continued. "She's a spitfire at times. Gotta knock some manners into her."

"You run girls for your partner, too?" Bill asked.

"Yup," he replied, "get 'em off the freight cars and into the brothels faster than lightnin' strikes. Break 'em in too, from time to time. Say, you gotta knack for wheelin' and dealin' mister. I could get y'all in the business. It's good money and pretty excitin' too."

"Oh I get more than enough excitement, friend," said Bill, moving behind the wretch and bending his neck, "now hold still. This will only hurt a moment."

Bill fed and fed well. He'd also managed to keep himself and the scene relatively clean, which was good. There weren't too many curious folk out in the part of town so late, but he knew he still ran the risk of being caught. He cleared a traveling trunk of its contents, tossing them aside, and placed the coachman's body inside. Bill figured he could dump it into the woods on the way back home, let the coyotes do the rest. For now, he'd enjoy traveling through the city atop the carriage. He'd secured a meal, a disguise, and a horse in the space of an hour. _Not bad._

The streets were not bustling with activity, but a few folks were out on the town. He hoped he could get by without too many interruptions. He was a fairly good navigator, but the city was still new to him. He wasn't sure he'd be able to act the part of a cabbie until they'd been here a few more nights. It was a good cover, though, and would help with hunting. Maybe if he brought enough good meals to Lorena, she'd leave him to roam on his own for a while. Maybe he could find a companion. He was good with glamour, though he hated using it to take a woman. He at least tried to make the experience as pleasurable for his chosen victim as possible. He scanned the streets. His blood lust was sated, but it stirred other hungers. _Perhaps another brothel?_ He was preparing to turn down another darkened alley when his dead heart lurched in his throat. Luckily, the horse stopped on her own or else he would have crashed into a wall.

She was walking arm in arm with a gentleman and trailed by an older couple, the woman who now held his undivided attention. It was dark, but his eyes could make out the curve of her lips as she smiled, the curves of her hips under the fabric of her dress, exaggerated by a fine bustle. He could see the shine of her hair, the firm and plump breasts that danced in the moonlight as she moved. He watched her and ached, unaware for a time of the bloody tears falling from his eyes. They walked only a little further before entering a home, greeted by gales of laughter and warm embraces.

He stood outside the home for a very long time, trying to catch a glimpse of the woman. Not for untold years had Bill been filled with such longing. Making himself scarce as the party ended and the attendees went their separate ways, he followed the object of his desire as she walked along. A few blocks up, the woman and her entourage turned and entered a stately home. _Please, open your curtains._ It seemed the fates were smiling on this lonely creature tonight, as the curtains opened to reveal the woman and her family. In the light, she looked even more like his Caroline.

He stood and watched until he felt the pull of dawn, long after the couple had retired to their bedchamber. He wondered how she smelled, how she tasted, how her skin would feel under his fingertips. Bill was conflicted, in spite of his lust and longing. As a rule, he left decent folk alone, preferring to feed on the dregs of humanity and to fuck lovely women whom he allowed to pleasure his body without touching his heart. This woman was too dangerous. He knew he should walk away. But, he would grant himself permission to watch another night. Just watch. Nothing more.

With great effort, Bill tore himself away from the home and hopped aboard the carriage to race back home. With any luck, he'd avoid Lorena before going to ground. He needn't have worried, it turned out. She had been nearby all along, watching her progeny from a distance. She worried after him, though he would never believe it. She wanted his devotion, thirsted for his affection. Maybe she could give him a gift worthy of such appreciation? Yes, if he returned to this place to look at the woman who so resembled his human wife, she would make it so. Lorena smiled, and then ran off into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The Gift

_April 13, 1902_

After exploring the city on foot for the past several nights, Bill felt confident in his ability to pass as a coachman. His initial fares proved to be unsuitable meal material, though he enjoyed light conversation with the travelers. After all of these years, he could still pass for human in the dimly lit outdoors, though it was becoming more challenging with improved indoor lighting and the widespread use of city gas lights. Hydroelectric technology was still restricted to big cities like New York, and though Bill marveled at progress in this area, he feared that it would make blending much more difficult. He hoped to cross paths with the traveling troupe of Vamp actors they'd met in St. Louis. They were experts at stage makeup and Bill wanted to learn some of their trade secrets.

His mood was still black, though it had improved with the freedom of the evening. Lorena wasn't interested in blending. If they were discovered, they must simply kill, feed, and move on. When he reminded her that such foolhardy methods had almost cost her and her maker, they'd fought bitterly. Bill had never met Solomon, but he knew that if Lorena was capable of regret, she sorely regretting their parting. It was one way he could hurt her. He hoped that one day he would hurt her so deeply that she would finally release him. She was miserable company, and he could never forgive her for robbing him of his life, his home, and his family. He could never love her. He'd turned most of his heart to stone, which his vampire nature made easier, and Lorena made necessary.

Turning the corner, he lifted his dark eyes to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of The Woman. He had returned the night after his birthday, but sensing Lorena's proximity, he chose to move on and hadn't returned since. Sighing, he realized there was no time. He needed to hunt and return with their prey, hopefully avoiding another bloody confrontation.

Two drunken revelers flagged him down and he graciously obliged. The woman, probably a whore, was half unconscious anyway. The man was a bit more lucid, but Bill's glamour was more than enough to convince the fool to trust him. He tapped Ginger gently on her hindquarters with the whip and called "Step Up!" The mare was used to him now and had even allowed Bill to ride her. They made their way back to the farmhouse at an easy pace, enjoying the smells of spring, wild jonquils and dogwood. He may not be able to appreciate their beauty in the daylight, but their scent was a joy, even in the darkness.

They stopped out front, and Bill could see Lorena waiting in the shadows. She was smiling, so he thought she must be pleased with his catch. She sidled up to the man as he stumbled from the carriage steps.

"Good evenin' handsome," she purred, rubbing her small hands over his shoulders. She enjoyed playing with her food. "I'm so pleased you could join us on this fine night. Won't you come inside?"

"Name's Jim," he said, tipping his hat in her general direction. He was likely seeing more than one Lorena, "You sure are a purty little thang, and I'd be delighted to join you, but are you sure he won't mind?" Jim jerked his head in Bill's direction, as Bill busied himself unloading the woman from the carriage.

"Oh no, William doesn't mind sharing, so long as you don't?" she said, batting her eyelashes. She almost appeared innocent.

Jim wasn't so drunk as to miss her meaning, "Oh, Josie's a pro, so I don't reckon she'll object. At least, she said her name was Josie," he seemed to lose his thought in mid-sentence.

"Well then, it looks like we'll have ourselves a party!" Lorena cried with delight, clapping her hands together and taking Jim's arm. "Come along now, Bill," she said over her shoulder, "I have a surprise for you."

He didn't much like the sound of that, but he had no choice but to obey. Beside, he was famished. Being a young vampire, he still required more blood than his maker. Josie wasn't much to look at, but she smelled heavenly. Her blood would be very satisfying.

When he entered the house with Josie in tow, he was surprised to see Lorena sitting beside a heavily glamoured Jim. He figured she must be in a playful mood. That wouldn't present a problem for Bill, since he hadn't yet had the chance to satisfy his lust for sex since their arrival in Little Rock. Feeding would arouse him, and Lorena would no doubt wish to mend fences. He offered her a fangy smile, which she returned. But there was more than lust behind her eyes. There was triumph. What was she about?

"William, put the baggage down and come sit with me for a moment, please?" The 'please' part caught him off guard.

He sat and turned his great dark eyes to his maker. "Aren't you hungry?" he asked.

"Oh, I fed a few hours ago," she said, taking his cold hand in hers, "but I can tell you need to feed, so I won't keep you from it for long."

He was confused. "You asked me to bring two. Why did you feed already?" His voice was cold and he was becoming angry. Did she doubt his skills? He'd proven himself more than capable. Bill had been a proud man, and was a prouder vampire.

"William," she sighed, "Don't be angry, dear. You are one of the most gifted hunters I've ever met. Let me explain. I think you'll be pleased."

She waited until his temper cooled, though he was still wary. "I know you aren't happy with me." She stated the truth simply and without fanfare. Bill didn't argue.

She continued, "I love you, and I want you to be happy."

He kept his face very still, not daring to hope that she was releasing him. He waited. After a moment, he felt another presence nearby. Not human. It was Vampire. "Are we having company?" he asked.

"Oh yes," she said, barely able to conceal her glee. Her fangs were out. "Help me take our other guests down to the basement and I'll introduce you."

He rose and picked up Josie, as Lorena whispered to Jim and bid him follow her. They moved down the steps and Bill heard rustling. He heard whimpers, and was aware of a scratching sound. Fingernails on wood. Someone was clawing.

Lorena walked ahead, carrying the lantern for the benefit of their human companions. She stopped in front of the cellar door, behind which the desperate sounds intensified. Bill looked on with mild interest. Perhaps Lorena had trapped another human for their vampire guest. The frantic nature of the sounds excited Bill's instincts and his fangs extended even more. He was becoming ravenous.

Lorena moved toward him, excited by his response. "I want you to remember how much effort it took for me to walk away from you tonight," she said, reaching down to caress his manhood. "I want you," she purred, nipping at the tender skin of his neck, "and I love you so, but I'm willing to share if it pleases you. And tonight, this gift is for you."

She placed light kisses over his face and his neck, and then led him to the cellar door. "Her name is Judith," Lorena whispered, "I made her for you. Tonight, you'll teach her. Feed her, clean her, and love her. For you, William," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice, "all for you." She turned and walked upstairs, and he felt her leave the house.

Bill was stunned. He stood very still for a long time, letting Lorena's words sink in. She'd turned a human. She'd taken her life and she had done this for him. _She thought it would please me? _ His fangs ran full out as rage filled him, the rage he'd bottled up for decades since she violated him in the same way. Turning his face to the low ceiling, he fell to his knees and roared. Josie roused at the sound. She hadn't been glamoured. She screamed. Bill's rage found its target.

The moans and scratches from behind the cellar door intensified as Bill fed. Death was palpable in the small room, and the scent of blood overpowering. As his bloodlust abated, Bill turned to regard the door. The Vampire behind that door had almost torn it from its hinges. She was hungry, and most likely terrified, disoriented, and dangerous.

As angry as he was, Bill realized that leaving this creature locked up and alone was a horrible cruelty. Her plight touched a sore spot in his soul. He walked to the door and spoke in his cool voice, gentle and soothing. "Judith?"

He was answered with a wail, so he shifted tactics and yelled, "Be quiet!" His voice was cold and commanding, and she responded with silence.

"I'm going to let you out. What you feel right now is the deep hunger of a newborn. You must feed. I will teach you. I will care for you so long as you obey me. I will keep you safe. Do you understand me?"

"Y-y-yes," came a soft voice, like that of a child, "Wh-wh-what's happening to me? Where am I? Where is Richard, I need to get home to him. He'll be worried! My babies . . ." She was reduced to soft sobs.

He had to be cruel to be kind. Later, he would offer comfort, but not now. "You've been made Vampire, Judith. You must feed." He opened the door. His heart leapt to his throat. The Woman. It was her. Lorena had turned _her_.

Her eyes widened in shock at the sight of him. "You're covered in blood," she gasped. She was torn between horror and fascination. Her fangs had run full out, though she was unaware. Her face was covered with bloody tears and her clothes were dirty and torn to shreds. He would have to find suitable clothing for her. She had a fuller figure than Lorena. He was at the outer limits of his control, hunger for The Woman threatening to overpower him.

Before he lost his mind, he yanked her roughly over to Jim. He had not stirred from his stupor, and Bill bent his neck and gasped at Judith, "Bite!"

She bit hard and well. In her frenzy, she spilled almost as much blood as she swallowed, but it was enough for a while. They might have to hunt later, but it would sustain her for now. She released Jim and fell backward, the thrill of her first feed painted on her face, cheeks rosier than before, panting and heaving breaths that she no longer needed.

He stood very still and watched. The fresh blood, the scent of her, the resemblance to his wife, and he was stretched to his breaking point. He could feel her in a strange way, as her sibling. Desire welled within her, too, though she struggled. He felt a pang of pity for her. To be so overwhelmed and dismayed, in the grip of such overpowering urges was frightening. She'd mentioned her husband. She was not inexperienced, then. That would make it easier. He whispered, not daring to look at her, "Come with me."

He moved with human speed as she followed him upstairs. Running would be a lesson saved for later, along with hunting. He wondered if she would stay still long enough for him to fetch and heat bath water. He wondered if he could wait so long, if she could. When he opened the door to the main room, he found the copper tub already filled with warm water, sitting and waiting for them. Lorena could be a mean bitch, but she was good at planning. And practical. He was grateful, in spite of himself.

He turned to Judith, who stood in the room looking very lost and very uncomfortable. Being new, she was still able to manage a blush. She was fidgeting and her frustration was evident. He longed to touch her. When she met his eyes, he could see her need. _Talk her through it? No, it would be best to keep words to a minimum._ He could comfort her now and take comfort for himself, and he was skilled. It had been so very long since he'd made love to a woman, rather than simply taken her. And it was never truly his choice with Lorena. He moved to her and lifted her face to look into his.

She resisted, looking down and muttering, "I can't, ooh but I want . . . I just drank blood and I enjoyed it. Oh God!"

He sorely wished his glamour worked on vampires right at this moment. "Judith, look at me," he commanded. She obeyed. Some of Lorena's influence must extend to him, then, as her first. "My name is William Compton. I am Vampire, like you. I am here to teach you and to care for you, to meet your needs. I am at your service." With that, he kissed her. He held himself in check, gauging her response. She didn't resist, though she was not yet accustomed to her fangs. She nicked his lip.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she cried, but he stilled her with a rougher kiss, nicking her lip and merging their blood. It was beyond exciting, this first blood exchange, even more intoxicating than with Lorena. She moaned, he growled, and their hands explored one another thoroughly. He yanked her dress down and she yelped in pain and pleasure. He had pulled the dress hard enough to bruise her tender flesh. She watched as the blue and purple marks faded and gasped in wonder.

Bill began to disrobe, but Judith was impatient. She ripped his shirt from his body and began to work on his trousers, whining and cursing as her fingers clawed at the buttons. With a roar of frustration, she used her fangs to tear them and release his excitement, which she proceeded to fondle and suckle greedily.

The feel her hands and mouth on him was incredible, the pleasure enhanced by the sharing of blood. He could smell and feel the want on her. She could taste it on him. He jerked her to her feet, determined to move them to the bed in the adjacent room before lust forced them to couple on the floor.

They tumbled into the bed and he crooned to her, bidding her to be still, be patient. His fingers explored every inch of her flesh, sensation heightened by new vampire senses. He spread her and entered her with one finger, then two, excited by her feel and her response. Without prelude, he moved over her and whispered, "May I?"

"Oh YES!" she cried, and he thrust into her. They moved together with frantic abandon. Slow and gentle would come later. Mutual need overwhelmed all else. She screamed as she climaxed, biting his shoulder and taking his blood. His fangs found her neck as he emptied himself into her. Bodies intertwined, blood to blood, flesh to flesh, Bill felt a peace he hadn't known in untold years. "Thank you," he whispered as he held her in a fierce embrace.

After they both recovered, Bill led her to the bath. He washed her as he would an infant, with great care and attention. He entered, cleaned himself, and then pulled her to him, cradling her in his strong arms. In spite of her dismay and shock, he felt her total trust in him. As they soaked, he spoke to her. Words of comfort and of instruction. They would hunt later, after this blissful respite.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – The Education of Judith Vardamon

A/N – I apologize for my extended absence! I think instead of promising to post "soon" I will, in the future, promise to post "as soon as I can." Things got busy and my muse is a real bitch sometimes. Plus, I struggled a lot with this chapter since I had so much information and detail to get through with Bill and Judith's history, not to mention throwing Lorena into the mix. It was a bear to write, but I hope that it's worth the wait. Plus, it's long! Hopefully that will compensate for my tardiness. Anyway, on with the show!

_Bon Temps, Louisiana_

_Present – just after Bill answered his door to find Judith Vardamon waiting for him on the other side . . ._

"Judith," he whispered, "it has been so long. Please, come in." He moved aside slowly and with great effort, allowing her to enter his home.

Judith moved to the living room, looking around. She had always been curious about Bill's roots. Naturally, he was familiar with hers. Being here gave her more insight into the man Bill had been and allowed her to get a sense of the Vampire he had become since their parting. Judith liked being on equal footing. Seeing him in his ancestral home was a pleasure she'd never dared hope to experience. Naturally the space had been upgraded and enhanced with electricity and modern appliances, yet he had clearly been careful to preserve as many of the original features as was possible. The furniture was heavy and antique, along with the lighting, selected to fit the antebellum character of the mansion. Television, sound system, and computer equipment could be hidden from view when not in use. This place was Bill through and through, and Judith imagined how it must have pleased him to finally be able to return home. That made it hurt all the more to think that his condition was robbing him of the peace he craved. He'd more than earned it. She was determined to give it back to him, if only she could convince him to let her help.

Judith seated herself on the sofa, followed by her invalid host. He asked without looking in her eyes, "May I offer you something to drink? I have True Blood, or maybe some Royalty?"

"No thank you," she said, willing him with all of her mind and heart to look at her, "later perhaps. Please, sit down and tell me what is hurting you so."

He stood very still for a moment, his back turned away from her and shoulders slumped. Bill began to move toward the armchair facing her, but was interrupted once more by his guest, "Why don't you join me on the sofa, Bill? Please."

"As you wish," he said, hobbling over and lowering himself next to her. Though he had no need to breathe, he heaved a heavy sigh before speaking once more in his cool, smooth voice, "I'm glad to see you again, Judy. I thought that I felt you close by earlier, but I was sure that I was dreaming. I've thought of you often . . . I think of you often."

He winced and turned his head, and she waited as he collected his thoughts. She tried to imagine what thoughts might be running through his vast and cavernous mind. Maybe guilt. Regret most probably. She reached out through the old bonds of blood and kinship and caught a flash of longing, and, perhaps, a sliver of hope. He must have sensed her gentle probing, as it was gone in an instant. After so many decades of guarding himself, he was adept as ever. Yet she knew him well enough, perhaps better than any other soul undead or living. With patience, she knew that she could coax him to speak his mind and his heart. When he did speak again, Judith found herself amused and moved by his sentiment. Fixing his gaze on her with undivided attention, and asked, "How have you been?"

She reached for his hand, touched by his concern for her. He remained ever the steadfast protector even in the midst of his own suffering. He pulled away, though, and folded his hands together on his lap. _Stubborn jackass._ She almost gave him a sad smile, and considered kicking him in the shin, but held her countenance and her leg in check. It wouldn't do. He would shut down completely at any sign of pity. He abhorred pity almost as much as he abhorred needing help, needing anything. She'd have to work around his pride, too.

"I am well, William," she replied cordially, "but I have missed you." She searched her vast catalog of past memories and found one that she hoped might move him to be more open with her. Smiling, she offered, "I've missed running."

* * *

_Little Rock, Arkansas_

_Late April, 1902_

The second week after Judith awoke as Vampire, Lorena returned to see how she and Bill were getting along. Judith was still in the cellar a little after sunset, since she needed more rest than Bill. When she awoke, she felt a strange sensation coursing through her veins. Something was calling to her, urging her to rise and follow. _Something's coming, it's coming, she's coming . . . _

She rose immediately and dressed in the dark, still amazed at how well she could see, though she was beginning to adjust to her keener senses. In truth, she was beginning to like them. She especially enjoyed her heightened skin sensitivity thanks to Bill. But there was no time to daydream (night dream?) of carnal pleasures then. The urge to hurry was overpowering. Still, Judith also felt an overwhelming desire to find Bill. Bill would explain, Bill would soothe, Bill could make it better.

She found him standing just outside of the cellar, holding perfectly still, his face expressionless. In spite of his appearance, she could sense his tension. "You feel it, too?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"What is this?"

"Our maker has returned."

Judith's heart filled with dread. She'd known that she would have to face the woman who controlled them both sooner or later, and Bill had done his best to prepare her. Still, she was terrified at the prospect. He'd only told her a little about Lorena, but coupled with the memory of the night she was turned, it was more than enough to frighten her. A flash of blonde hair, a red dress, being grabbed from behind, terrible, terrible pain, her life draining from her. Fear, panic, anguish. She could still taste them. And the voice. Judith believed that the voice of her attacker would haunt her forever. _Goodnight, sweet Judith. You are mine now._

Bill took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He didn't speak, but she felt him send waves of comfort and solidarity through the blood they shared. Judith took strength from that. "What must I do?" she asked.

"Bow your head when she enters, speak when she addresses you, and do as she commands." He closed his eyes, appearing to be lost in thought, and then he said, "She is in a good humor tonight. We should try not to displease her."

That gave Judith pause. So Bill could 'feel' Lorena as well. They must have exchanged blood then. Perhaps they still did. _Does that mean that they . . . couple as well?_ Judith wasn't sure how she felt about that, though she supposed that she had no right to judge. After all, she'd been unfaithful to her husband Richard with Bill the night she awoke to her new life, right? Not to mention the many times since. Still, she felt a pang of jealousy, followed by unwanted excitement. Vampirism had awakened a wantonness she had never imagined that she could possess, so perhaps it was acceptable to take many lovers.

While she wished to discuss these thoughts with Bill, and would in due time, more pressing matters were at hand. Judith asked, "How long will she stay?"

"As long as she wishes."

The door opened, and Judith saw her maker fully for the first time. Lorena was petite and pretty, save for her eyes. They were hard and cruel, though they sparkled when she turned them to gaze upon Bill. "William," she purred, sauntering over to him and pulling his face to hers for a deep kiss. He returned it. "You look well my darling." _That answers one question._ Turning toward Judith, she continued, "And how is the newest addition to our little family, hmm?"

Judith bowed and kept her eyes low while Lorena circled around her, examining her as she might an interesting piece of art, or furniture. Though it took great effort, Judith didn't flinch when Lorena touched her arm, ran her hands sensuously up and down her back, over her bare shoulders, and then around to lightly graze her breasts. "Lovely," she murmured, "simply lovely." She placed two fingers under her chin and bid Judith meet her gaze. "Are you hungry, my child?"

"Yes, Miss Ball," she answered. Judith was both terrified and ashamed of her excitement at the woman's touch. She didn't understand why, nor did she wish it, yet she longed for Lorena to touch her again.

Lorena laughed out loud and clapped her small hands together. She then reached out to caress Judith's cheek and smiled. "Such manners. What a good girl!" Turning to address Bill, she said, "My, my, you've done wonders with our baby!"

"Thank you," he said simply.

Turning back to Judith, she took her hand said, "I've brought dinner for you. You'll find that I am a good provider. I always take care of that which is mine." The way she said 'mine' sent a shiver down Judith's spine.

"Will you be feeding with us?" Bill asked. His tone was cordial and familiar. Judith marveled. How could he be so calm when she was near to collapsing in fear, bursting with desire, agitated as with the blood craving?

"Oh no, my dears!" she cried, waving her hands in front of her face, "I must return to town to attend to some business." Her eyes lit up, and Bill raised an eyebrow. "I've met some wonderful new friends with plenty of money to burn! Come see what I brought you!"

Bill and Judith followed her to the front porch, where she indicated two large trunks. "Go ahead, open them!" she cried. Bill stooped down and opened the first. It was filled with cash, coin, and several suits. Good quality, Judith thought, just like her Richard wore. She also saw fine leather boots, top hat, and a shiny golden pocket watch that Bill pulled out and examined, twirling the chain with his long fingers. Judith opened the second and found equally beautiful dresses and fine undergarments.

Bill looked pleased. "You've secured enough for us to live well for at least a year. Shall I accompany you a few nights to assist? With any luck, we can double these assets and clear out of town before anyone questions their losses."

"My William," she replied, beaming with pride, "you're so clever. Always thinking ahead! Perhaps tomorrow night . . . I do think we can fatten our wallets a bit more before moving west." She winked, and Bill inclined his head and gave her an appreciative smile. "I just knew that would please you!" Lorena said, then turned to Judith and continued, "William has always wanted to see the open plains, the Rockies, cowboys, and California, too. Oh we'll have such a fine time on the rails! We can travel in style by train, or we can take the lovely carriage you brought us, dear."

Bill bent low and kissed her hand, which seemed to please her no end. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Come, Judith," Lorena said, "walk with me while Bill unloads the carriage." When Lorena spoke, Judith felt herself drawn to the voice. When Lorena moved, Judith's eyes were compelled to follow her, and Judith held her with rapt attention. When Lorena commanded Judith to follow, she felt an indescribable jolt through her entire body and mind compelling her to obey. Indeed, a single moment's hesitation had filled her with a pain and sadness that was more intense and overwhelming than any she'd yet experienced. When she followed, the pain was replaced with tranquility.

When they had moved a way down the road, Lorena took her by the hand. To Judith's amazement, she felt better. It was as though the cure to some deep ache flowed from the woman beside her into her body and soul. Her touch was magic. Like Bill's. "There, there, my sweet girl," Lorena soothed, "I told you that I care for what is mine."

"Thank you, Miss Ball."

"You may call me Lorena, dear Judith. Have you been taking good care of my William?"

"Yes ma'am," she began with hesitance, "I'm trying."

"That's good. He's very charming, is he not? And smart as a whip! I've never met anyone as clever. So strong, so attentive, so skilled . . . such a rare find . . ." Judith could feel Lorena's desire and lust, though it was more than apparent from her voice. "I believe that you are quite fond of him, too, are you not?"

"Yes," Judith answered honestly.

"You must take care to please him. He's been rather . . . somber of late and it just breaks my heart. But I can tell that he just adores you!" Lorena said, "I knew he would." Judith's heart dropped. That's when she realized. Lorena had made her a vampire as a gift for Bill. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why, though. There were so many more beautiful ladies in Little Rock than she, though truth be told, there were many others who were not. Perhaps time and patience would reveal all.

As they walked and talked, Judith worked out a few more things on her own. First, she believed that her transformation was not Bill's choice. From what she'd learned of Bill and his character, she suspected that his own transformation had been against his will. Second, Lorena loved 'her William' as much as someone like Lorena was capable of love, and she made it clear to Judith that she was to make him happy in return for the wonderful gifts of power and immortality with which she'd favored such a lowly human creature, not to mention the new clothing and accessories she'd procured for her.

Though Lorena's words were light and soft, Judith feared their power almost as much as she feared Lorena. She wondered if Bill feared her, too, though she couldn't imagine Bill fearing anything. He carried himself with confidence and quiet dignity, even in the presence of their maker. He was powerful and virile, no doubt, but had a gentle ease about him and an enigmatic nature that was most intriguing. And his memory was truly remarkable! He seemed to have near total recall. Judith figured that Lorena must have been attracted to those qualities in him at least as much as his handsome face, attractive body, and his skill as a lover. What Bill felt for or about Lorena, however, was not at all clear to Judith.

They returned to the farmhouse to join Bill and their 'company' for the evening. To show her good will, Lorena had also procured two Chinese girls them. They were young, weakened to the point of death by the perilous journey that brought them to Little Rock by boat and rail, as well as consumption. Had Lorena failed to 'rescue' them, she'd said, they would surely have perished under the weight of some drunken louts who would have forcibly robbed them of their virtue for a pittance. Judith worked out from watching and listening that Lorena must have suffered similar atrocities sometime during her life as a human woman, though she had been strong enough to survive. Bill showed no emotion as he worked with their maker, putting the girls into some sort of trance as Judith watched with utter fascination. She'd entertained a hypnotist once for her high society friends, along with a charlatan of a gypsy tarot reader, but the skill with which these two vampires entranced their captives was truly amazing.

After she departed, Bill took Judith by the hand and calmly explained to her that the girls would feel no pain or fear under the power he called 'glamour.' He promised to teach her, telling her that he'd used it to subdue the other humans that he'd brought to them. She was relieved, though she doubted she would have been able to stop herself from feasting on their blood in spite of her revulsion toward killing innocents. Yet, she held herself in check until Bill bid her to slake her thirst. In life, Judith Vardamon had been a perfect and obedient daughter, which had prepared her to be a perfect and obedient wife, mother, and hostess under the rigors of Victorian life. As a new vampire, she strove to perfect her skills in order to please Bill. Her bite was quick, clean, and neat. No drop was wasted. She had half-drained the second girl when she forced herself to stop.

Bill's dark eyes had widened in shock and wonder when she lifted the girl and brought her to him, exposing her neck so that he, too, could feed. He hesitated, and Judith questioned him. He told her that he'd never witnessed such self-control in a newborn vampire. He doubted that he himself could have just stopped like that when he was first turned. She was relieved, fearing that she had done something wrong. In fact, the very thought of displeasing him sent waves of dread and pain through her entire being. He must have sensed it, since he took her in his arms and soothed her. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and reassured her that he was not displeased, merely surprised. After he finished draining the girl, he asked if she would like to join him in the forest. Bill said she would enjoy her heightened vampire senses and abilities even more while running at vampire speed in the secluded woods. He would teach her. He'd whispered the words in her ear with his cool, seductive voice, sending shivers down her spine. She was pleased, and hoped that he would devote what was left of the night to pleasing her further, and that he would still hold her close in his embrace when they went to ground.

* * *

"Close your eyes," he whispered. They were walking along a trail used by local moonshiners and mountain men. Judith did as he commanded.

"Listen," he whispered in her ear, standing behind her and holding her gently, "tell me what you hear."

She concentrated, marveling at the night noises all around. There were so many. It was overwhelming at first. As she calmed, she found she was able to separate each of the sounds, like individual notes from a sea of instruments. "I hear . . . the wind, but it's so much more . . . I swear I can hear each single leaf as it rustles through the trees," she smiled.

"What else do you hear, my sweet?"

"I hear . . . Oh scampering in the tall grass just over there!" she pointed to the far side of the meadow beyond their spot on the trail head. She focused, "Field mice! One large . . . and three smaller ones following along! And two squirrels chasing each other on that great big oak way over there. I can hear a family of field mice and squirrels clear on the other side of that field!"

"Yesssssss," he encouraged, "concentrate, focus, and you can hear even more."

She concentrated and sensed something larger beyond the boundaries of the meadow. Judith felt more than heard the creature's wiry muscles tense, smelled the fecund scent of musk, and then caught another strange yet familiar aroma. _Fear. This is what fear smells like._ The creature had sensed their presence and was preparing to run. Judith's fangs extended in anticipation of the chase. She could hear the blood rushing through the animal's veins, heart racing, and then, a bolt.

"Judith!" Bill's cries were fading in the wind that Judith left in her wake as she took her first run at vampire speed. She was too exhilarated to stop, completely caught up in the chase. A pure predator. The terror she had felt earlier in the presence of Lorena was erased by speed, power, and the thrill of the hunt.

Judith quickly caught up with the animal, which she had registered was a deer. She could see it in spite of their running speed. It was amazing! She had seen her share of wildlife, of course, though mostly when she was a young schoolgirl. When she was able to escape the rigors of 'lady-training' at home, she often wandered the nearby woods. She'd seen deer standing still or disappearing as a blur, but her vampire eyes could track the features of the running animal as clearly as if it were grazing in a field. He was a big fella, 12 pointer. Richard would have been thrilled to mount that rack on his wall! Well, Richard didn't own her anymore, and Lorena wasn't here, so this deer was _hers_. She felt powerful. She felt free. She felt . . . herself toppling to the ground.

Her first reaction borne of the chase and bloodlust was to buck and kick at whatever had landed on top of her. She was amazed at the strength of her body. Never had she imagined such sheer physical power, or such an urge to fight! She was a whirlwind, a tornado of fury and determination. She bit hard into the arm that was holding her down and then threw her attacker off of her. Judith let out a primal howl and crouched low. Snarling and preparing to pounce, she stopped herself when she realized that it was only Bill.

"Oh God! William, are you OK? I swear I didn't realize . . . I'm so sorry, so very sorry!" she cried out.

His arm healed before here eyes as he rose and dusted himself off. His fangs were fully extended, though she couldn't tell if it was from rage, excitement, or both. Something in her tone or demeanor must have affected him, since he took her hand and pulled her to him. Bill looked at her and said, "It's alright. You need not fear me, Judith. I'm not like her."

"I know," she said too quickly. In truth she didn't want to upset him with an argument borne of this discussion. They had talked about a great many things during their time together, but neither had broached the subject of his intentions or feelings toward her. She suddenly panicked, fearing that she had displeased him. Judith began to speak again, trying to smooth it over, "At least, I believe that you would never deliberately cause me harm. You've been so patient and attentive to me since I was . . ."

"Since you were made Vampire. Yes."

"But why, William? Did Lorena command you to be so kind to me? I cannot imagine her being concerned with kindness for anyone. She told me that I must please you, so does that mean that I . . . belong to you, to her, to both of you? I feel so strange when she is around, like something terrible will happen should I fail to obey her. It frightens me."

He released her and turned away, and she was certain that she'd said the wrong thing. She began to feel pain and anxiety again and she doubled over. Bill grabbed hold of her and lifted her into his arms, and then she felt waves of tenderness and reassurance flow from him. It had been that way since they'd shared blood. She could feel things from him sometimes, when he close or in the throes of passion, or when he 'sent' flashes of feeling to her.

"You do not belong to me, Judith," he said, willing her to look at him, "do you understand? I release you from any obligation that our maker placed on you where I'm concerned. You may speak your mind or remain silent. You may stay in my company or walk away as you please. You may kiss me or kick me without fear of any reprisal." And just like that, the pain she felt disappeared.

Bill put her down and backed away, giving her space. When he spoke again, he could not hide the pain in his own voice, barely above a whisper, "I am truly sorry that I can do nothing to release you from Lorena's hold. You should kick me, or slap me, or put a stake through my heart. What has been done to you is my fault."

Judith regarded the man in front of her, clearly suffering as much as she had, possibly more. She could feel his urge to protect her, his anger toward Lorena, his frustration at being under her power. His feelings were not always this easy to read, and she suspected that he'd deliberately let down his guard for a moment. For her. Judith closed her eyes and concentrated on thoughts of kindness, calm, serenity, sending these feelings to Bill. When she opened her eyes, she saw that his were closed as he drank in the sensations. She moved toward him and placed her hand on his cheek, "This wasn't your choice?"

"No."

"She turned you against your will, too?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

He remained silent for a moment, considering his answer. One of the things Judith had found surprising about Bill was the deep consideration that he gave to her questions. No man, not even her own husband, had ever done that. Oh she was coddled from time to time, patronized or 'indulged' as one might treat a precocious child by the men in her life, but never truly heard or considered. It was as if he thought her his equal, and it gave her the same sense of power she'd felt on her run.

Finally, he answered, "No, though I am drawn to her as my maker, I do not love Lorena, nor can she force me to love her, though she has tried. Sometimes I despise her, and yet often I pity her. I ache for her, and I loathe her. I am her prisoner, too, though there are times that I long for her nearness. She can give me pleasure and peace, or she can take it away at will and replace it with agony. I have experienced both from her in equal measure."

She nodded. She didn't need him to elaborate as she was beginning to understand the complex and tempestuous nature of the relationship between Maker and Child. That question was one born of curiosity. Finding courage in his candor, she then posed the more pressing question, the fundamental question between Judith the woman and Bill the man, vampire issues aside, "You didn't answer my first question. Why are you so kind to me if Lorena didn't command you to be so? Is it merely because of the guilt you carry, or simply the passion that taking the blood gives?"

"Not entirely," he said, and she knew he was being honest. She waited, but he remained silent.

"Then you find me pleasing?" Judith asked. She hoped he did, and not just because of Lorena's admonition.

"Yes, more so than I have found anyone in untold years," he answered.

She gazed into his great brown eyes, beautiful, wild, wounded, and irresistible. He didn't move, giving her the power to respond or retreat. Judith stepped toward him, placed both hands on either side of his face, and asked, "Will you please kiss me, William Thomas Compton?"

He bent and pressed his lips to hers, lightly brushing them, teasing her. He planted soft kisses on the bridge of her nose, her forehead, her eyes, and her cheeks. She felt the rumble of his chuckle as she pulled him back to her mouth and initiated a deep and passionate kiss, like the heroines in some of the salacious novels that she had secreted in her closet back home. She was learning that she liked to take the dominant role in her 'exchanges' with Bill. He didn't seem to mind, either.

After savoring one another for a few sweet moments, she pulled away. "Why did you stop me from taking down that deer?" she asked, feigning anger, though she gave him a fangy smile, "I was having fun, you know?"

"Yes, I know," he said, returning in her smile in kind, "but we cannot risk angering the shifters in the area. They may retaliate by setting the townsfolk upon us."

"Shifters?" Judith asked.

"Shape shifters," Bill answered, taking her hand and leading them at vampire speed back along the path. He stopped abruptly and bid her be silent while he scanned the area. Extending one of his long fingers, he pointed to a nearby tree, where the buck stood panting in recovery. She almost shrieked when she witnessed the deer transform into a naked man, who leaned against the tree and continued to pant. Bill clapped his hand over her mouth and slowly pulled them back.

When they were far enough away, Judith spoke, "That was no deer!"

"No, he is a shape shifter, one of the two-natured who can assume one or more animal forms."

"Like werewolves?"

He chuckled again. It was a deep and rusty sound. She imagined that William Compton didn't laugh often, and she found herself pleased that she had inspired his mirth again. "Weres are a different breed entirely," he said. "It seems I must educate you on the inhabitants of your new world, Miss Vardamon." His voice held a hint of mischief, and she felt the familiar excitement pooling in her belly.

"There are many, many things I wish to know and to learn," she replied, her tone serious in spite of her growing lust, "and now it seems that I have time and the means . . ." The last was more question than statement.

He considered again. "What do you wish to know, Judith, to learn?"

Now she considered. What would she do with eternity? A million thoughts swarmed in her mind. Read everything, learn a dozen languages, or more, see shows, travel, at night of course, but travel the world! Was all of this possible?

He was smiling at her, and she grinned back. He could guess, then, what sort of things she might like to learn. She'd told him enough about her childhood dreams. But, of course, there was one big obstacle, "What about Lorena?"

He sighed, "She will hold us as long as we amuse her. I cannot say how long that may be. I've been hers for sixty human years. Normally, though," he continued, his eyes briefly alight with a ray of pure hope, "makers release their progeny after a time. We may still be summoned, but we would be more or less free. And we can always work to persuade her to accommodate our requests. Sometimes she even leaves for weeks, months at time."

"So, how do you manage, Bill?" she asked.

"Manage what?"

"To stay so cool and collected, knowing that she has such power over you? What do you do when it makes you angry?"

"I run, or tear up a tree. Sometimes I hurt someone . . ." he trailed off, then he looked at her again with an intensity she had never seen. His eyes held desire, deep longing, and sadness when he spoke again. "Sometimes I can love. I would like to make love to you again, if you will have me."

"I would like that," Judith replied. Then, in a moment of pure devilry, she leaped behind him, gave him a hard whack on the backside, and shouted over her shoulder as she dashed ahead of him on the trail, "after we run!"

He caught her eventually, and taught her even more about the wonders of the woods that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Healing the Past

A/N – It's been a while . . . but I'm so glad to get back to this story. Some of you out there in cyberspace know that I've been hard at work on some original fiction and have been having some success in contests – I've even made the quarterfinals in the ABNA 2011 with an original novel! Between the first novel, a sequel in progress, day job, and life, well . . . this one got put on the back burner. I do promise to finish it eventually, since I've been missing my antebellum Vamp. For now, enjoy the latest installment.

* * *

_Bon Temps, Louisiana_

_Present – Bill and Judith have been making small talk, and both have been lost in remembrances of their early days and their first run together._

Judith came back to herself, as did Bill. She was pleased to receive a genuine smile from him. He seemed to be relaxing more, in slow and measured increments. Still, she noticed how he winced when he leaned back on the sofa.

"As I said, I am fine, Bill, better than fine now that I've found my way back to you. You, on the other hand, are quite obviously not well at all. Your neighbor tells me that you've been poisoned with silver."

Again, his face showed surprise. A flicker of love shone in his brown eyes followed by something else . . . regret, remorse, and finally, the light of pure gratitude. "Sookie," he murmured, "she found you?" He seemed to be connecting some dots in his head, and Judith granted him the space and time to do so. She guessed from his musing and from the tenor of her conversation with Sookie that the two had an interesting history. Well, in her experience, relationships with vampires were always interesting, and more than a little complicated, especially for human companions. She'd had her fair share of love affairs with mortals and the undead, and her years as a vampire had made her pretty wise. She'd be very interested in hearing all about Bill's former love. Later.

When Bill came back to himself, he nodded to Judith, "Yes, a particularly nasty Fae with silver-tipped teeth bit me."

"You've taken blood? From our kind?"

"Yes, quite a bit."

"Well, it doesn't seem to be fixing you up. Why didn't you call me?" She asked, though she knew the reason. She wanted him to voice it. It was time for truth between them, and healing, and reconciliation.

"I didn't know if you would come, not that I would blame you," he quickly added, "I've wronged you, God only knows, and I didn't know if you hated me for it."

"What happened to me was Lorena's fault, Bill, not yours. All you were guilty of was longing, hope, and love. I don't blame you. I never have. And, in spite of the pain I felt through the years we spent with our maker, I've always loved you."

"How can you say that, Judy?" he asked, leaning closer to her. He moved to place his hand over hers, but stopped himself. "I'm the reason you lost your life and your family, the right to walk in the sun, all that you held dear. You would think that, living with Lorena for so long, I would have known to keep my guard up. I had found respite in human women, from time to time, when she wasn't keeping track of me. I would have been content to just watch you for a few nights, maybe catch your eye and smile. That would have been enough, I swear."

"Are you saying you wish that you had never followed me home that night?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, laced with fondness in spite of his remorse, "No, I can't honestly say that. You were my only peace during those long years. Still, I will never forgive Lorena for what she did to you, and to me."

* * *

_Colorado Rockies, 1925_

Nightfall. It was his second night trapped in the cave, or was it his third? Didn't matter. William Thomas Compton was as good as dead. Meeting the true death would be a blessing for him.

He tried to move again and was rewarded with even more searing agony than the night before. His body was broken beyond his ability to heal. She'd seen to that. And she'd promised to leave him there to rot. Perhaps, this time, she truly meant it.

He decided to conserve what energy he had left on the off chance that his legs might heal enough to allow him to walk. If he could walk, perhaps he could scale the walls of the cave. Levitation was out of the question in his current state. He steeled himself against the pain in his broken arm and used his less injured hand to assess the state of his naked body. Bill believed that some of the ribs were mending, but that was probably just wishful thinking. He was so cold that he felt almost human again. The last winter before the War's end had been bitterly cold, and for a long while he believed that no amount of Louisiana summer sunshine would ever chase it away, that he'd be forever left with a trace of chill to remind him of the horrors that he and his fellow men could inflict on one another. Here, in the depths of this chasm, he was back there. He had returned to the place where no hope would ever find him. Not since shortly after his turning had he experienced such utter despair. And he was so very hungry.

There was no food to be had here, though. Not a human for hundreds of miles, perhaps more. The western frontier of which he'd dreamed for so long had now betrayed him. It was a marvel, truly, this expanse of virgin land. It was wild and beautiful, as he knew it would be, and it had called to him first as a mortal man and later as Vampire. It was also treacherous. Now, much like the woman who'd left him here, this country had betrayed him and would likely become his tomb.

He had refused to cry out during the hours of torture, and didn't beg her to stop. She would have, too. She owned him, or as good as owned him. He had to obey her, follow her, show her deference, but she could not force his love or his affection. She couldn't force him to kill the child she'd brought home. She had done it for spite of course, as he had once more displeased her. His pride had sealed his doom. Now, in the darkness, where he was alone with his misery, he was free to cry. But he couldn't even do that now. He hadn't enough blood.

There was nothing to do but suffer and wait for the end. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the endless hours. His shivering had returned, and he was glad when delirium set in. Soon, he could rest. Soon.

* * *

_Another night, or two, or three?_ He shouldn't still be alive. Agony was still ever present, yet it was more distant. He was fading. Is this what was in store for him? Not the true death, ever, in the depths of this cave, but a slow fading through eternity? Would his essence, his soul, remain ever tethered to this withering body through the ages?

He preferred not to think about it, but what else was there? If no one found him, if Lorena abandoned him, he could well remain in this cave for hundreds of years. He'd surely go mad! But he might not die. If ever there was a hell, this was it. This was true damnation.

He would panic at some point. It was inevitable. But at the moment he did not have the strength or will. He could still move his arm, but he detected no substantial healing. He needed blood for that.

Should he summon Lorena? Was she waiting for his desperate plea from the darkness? The ultimate, humiliating surrender of his will? He would not, though he was sorely tempted. Any creature in his predicament would be. But not yet. He faded again and he was calling for someone. He didn't know for whom, and wouldn't for some time, but she was the first source of comfort for whom he longed since enduring this beating and imprisonment.

He called out for his Caroline.

* * *

He was on fire! If he had a voice, he would be screaming. The pain that had been so distant now returned in full force. Every raw nerve was wracked with pain. So much did it hurt that he almost choked on the liquid pouring down his throat. _What is this new terror? Please, oh please make it stop! Let me die! _ Still it came. Each swallow slaked his thirst, but it was followed by waves of excruciating agony and searing heat.

He must be feverish. That was it. He'd stayed out in the fields for too long and had gotten the grippe. Caroline must be spooning broth into his mouth. In spite of the pain, he forced himself to swallow, knowing it would save his life. He couldn't die and leave her alone. She and the children would starve, and they'd lose the Compton land. _No! _ After all he'd sacrificed in that fool's errand of a bloody War, he would not lose it all now!

After several swallows, he began to feel better. The broth was working and his body would slowly mend. He was suddenly desperate for the life-sustaining liquid. Every fiber of his being cried out for more. So thirsty, so very thirsty.

"Caroline," came the hoarse whisper, "more, please. I need more."

"Shh," replied a whisper in the dark, "I will give you more soon. Rest now, William. You need to heal more so we can move you. It's almost dark."

Sweet oblivion overtook him.

* * *

Bill woke with a jolt, fangs extended, ready to fight. _Where am I?_ He was no longer on the cold earthen floor of the cave, but he seemed to be in some enclosed space. Soft fabric surrounded him. _Bed? No, coffin._ If this was Lorena's idea of a joke, he found it decidedly unfunny. Still, he couldn't be sure who awaited him on the outside. He could feel that his body had healed, but not fully. He wasn't sure how much strength he would be able to muster, nor had he any idea who and how many he might need to fight. Humans were always a danger to a weakened vampire, though he could probably still take out a few. Their blood would help restore him. Other vampires were a greater threat. Better to wait, listen, and then formulate a plan.

His keen ears picked up the sound of laughter; at least five distinct voices surrounded him. He also heard crickets, so he was definitely back above ground.

A voice from directly above his chamber came in loud and clear, "Shall we see if our little patient has recovered enough to join us?" It was followed by light rapping above his head, "Bill, oh Biiiiiiiiiiiilly boy? Come on out of there and tell us how you wound up in a cave, and without your trousers no less! How deliciously scandalous!"

Bill relaxed, even breathed a sigh of relief, and then said, "Good evening, Malcolm. Perhaps you'd care to lend me a hand?"

"Oh I'll lend you more than that, old boy!" he whooped. With that, the lid of the coffin lifted and Bill's eyes were flooded with lamplight.

"Behold! The dead awakens!" Malcolm bellowed, "Come one, come all, and see a real live Vampire! Ten cents a peek, twenty if you want him to nibble on your neck!"

Bill rose and was immediately surrounded by four humans. The three women gasped, and the man swallowed hard. Bill watched as his throat bobbled, shivering as his eyes moved to rest on his jugular. He was famished, shaking with anticipation of his first feed in God knew how long. His fangs, already extended, reached their full length as he pulled himself out of the coffin. He was focused on the sweet blood flowing through the human in front of him, senses sharpened. Bill could smell the blood mixed with sweat and fear, scents that called to the primal, predatory urge to feed. Blood lust overtook him and he leapt and attacked.

He fed with frenzied greed, pausing only to gasp as the dark nourishment filled him. After three more powerful pulls, he leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and roared in ecstasy.

He opened his eyes once more when Malcolm jerked him up and off of his prey. Bill snarled and prepared to fight, but Malcolm was old enough to hold him at bay, even in the throes of his bloodlust.

"Now, now, Bill. Easy, old boy, that's enough from this one. There's plenty more. We can't have you draining our customers now, can we? We'd have no audience left!"

Bill followed Malcolm's extended arm and his eyes landed on the human women. They were well dressed and smelled of exotic perfume and lust. Bill was still terribly hungry, but sated enough now so as not to attack. He was also filled with carnal lust. Pity there were only three.

"Now, ladies, what do you think of our gentleman of the night? Marvelous, isn't he? You won't find any creature more beautiful or deadly anywhere else on earth."

"Oh my," breathed one of the women, "you were right, Mr. Morrison. He is so very alluring, but dangerous. Will we be safe with him?"

Malcolm smiled sweetly at the lovely creature and said, "Oh yes, he'll be a perfect gentleman now that he's finished his first feed. Our friend here was so generous to volunteer to go first. Don't worry, he'll be just fine. I'll take good care of him."

Bill looked at the unconscious man from whom he'd fed. He wasn't very large, but he was lovely. One of Malcolm's pets no doubt. At least he could be assured that the human knew what he was getting into when he agreed to be Bill's meal.

"Now ladies, why don't y'all retire to my private rail car and freshen up. We'll bring Mr. Compton to you when he's more . . . presentable."

The giggling and positively giddy women were escorted out by a very sour looking Dianne. She still hated playing the role of servant. She'd never been a slave, but black women in the Americas were still relegated to a lower status. Of course, that didn't matter in Vampire circles. She was as free and equal as Malcolm was. Malcolm had frequently reminded her how he'd suffer should he publicly proclaim his fondness for beautiful men in the company of humans. Bill offered a wink and a smile, which seemed to soothe her bruised ego. He would thank her properly later, as she and Malcolm had no doubt been instrumental in his rescue and healing.

"Now, Bill," Malcolm offered, holding him at arm's length and sizing him up, "when are you ever going to learn to be a good boy, hmm? If you keep making Lorena so cross, she's really going to end you one of these days. You're lucky Judith found you."

"Judith," Bill whispered. A single word, her name, explained much. He would be sure to express his gratitude for her as well, once they were alone.

"Yes, she managed to track you to that cave," Malcolm continued, dropping his merry exterior for a moment and growing serious, "you were in a very bad way. It took weeks and several donors to bring you back. It was Judy's blood that really did the trick, though. I'd hate to lose you. Be more careful next time."

Bill nodded. So there would be a next time. Lorena hadn't released him. More likely than not, she'd loaned him to Malcolm and his entourage until she'd cooled off. He took comfort in the fact that cooling off would take a few decades.

"Is Judith with you?"

"Oh yes. And what an asset she's been!" Malcolm said.

"Yes, she always wanted to try the stage."

"Oh, we're out of the Vaudeville business, at least for now. No, I'm pleased to offer you a formal position as our resident Vampire attraction Malcolm Morrison's traveling sideshow of night creatures!"

"Sounds delightful," Bill offered in his high, cold voice.

"Bill, don't be such a spoiled sport! You have many talents, but unlike your sibling, you cannot dance, act, or do anything well besides fuck!" he cackled, "But, I could use your head for book keeping and investing. You can be our business manager as well as our Vampire boy toy. What do you say?"

"I'd be more inclined to say yes after another feed and some fucking," Bill offered.

"Is that an invitation?" Malcolm purred.

"I would much prefer the company of the young ladies, but you are welcome to join us if you'd like. How long has it been since you've sampled the fair sex?"

"Not long enough," Malcolm replied with a wave. "Go on, get yourself cleaned up and go show our guests a good time. You can rest and catch up with your sister after." He slapped Bill on the rump for good measure and allowed Ian to lead Bill to a nearby well.

* * *

Bill knocked on Judith's door and waited. He was nervous, though his face did not betray it. When she answered, he smiled and waited. She didn't bother to hide her delight at seeing him up and about, jumping into his arms and pulling him down for a kiss.

"It's so good to see you mended, Bill," she whispered into his ear, "let me look at you," she continued, pulling away and holding him with her eyes. "Come in, please."

Bill walked in, looking around at the opulent compartment. She must be doing well for Malcolm. He would never have given her an entire train car otherwise.

"Shall I call for someone?" Judith asked.

"No thank you. I've fed already. Malcolm wasted no time having me earn my keep."

"Then come and sit with me. Please."

Bill joined her on the sofa. She curled up in his arms and they sat in comfortable silence for a time before he spoke. "Thank you for finding me. Malcolm tells me that your blood was my cure."

"Yes," she sighed, "it wasn't until you fed from me that you started to regain your strength. We were worried, Bill," she said, rising to look him in the eyes, "it might have taken years to nurse you back to health."

"How did you know to use your blood?"

"I didn't. We were feeding you by hand. It wasn't easy, since we only had a few moments between harvesting the blood of humans and forcing you to drink before it congealed. Plus, you were in such pain from your body's mending that you weren't able to drink much at first. I was so afraid I'd lose you . . ."

"Forgive me for causing you such sorrow," he offered, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"While I was feeding you, a stray tear fell into your mouth. I wouldn't have noticed, but you stirred then for a moment, and then you asked for more. I opened my wrist then and held it to your mouth, which was much easier than spoon-feeding you! And you started getting better! I've been giving you some every day since."

"How long?"

"Two months," she said with delight. After what he'd suffered, two months was a short recovery period indeed.

"So, Mr. Compton, you look much, much better now. Tell me," she crooned, fangs extending, "have you _fully_ recovered?"

"See for yourself," he said, pulling her into his arms.

Turns out he'd recovered very nicely indeed.

* * *

_5 years later_

Bill woke up contented. He'd taken to sharing his coffin with Judith as they traveled the west by day. The night shows were bringing in cash hand over fist, and Lorena still hadn't appeared to call them back. Malcolm wouldn't want to lose them anyhow. Judith's angelic voice and Bill's business acumen were working well for him. From Vaudeville to Circus acts to Burlesque, the entertainment business was lucrative and a perfect cover for the Vampires.

Bill rose first, leaving Judith to rest while he dressed for the evening. He was surprised when he heard her voice rise out of their sleeping quarters, "Bill, you were dreaming again."

"How do you know?" he asked.

"You were talking in your sleep. You called out for her again."

"Who?"

"Caroline."

Bill became very still. Were they human, the temperature drop in the room would have made the pair shiver. Judith stood before him and looked up expectantly. Bill remained silent.

"She was your wife?"

"Yes."

Judith waited. He knew she wanted him to tell her about his life. She'd shared the details of her human life with him. It was only natural that she expected him to return the favor. Somehow, in all the years since her turning, he'd managed to avoid it. He didn't want to tell her. If she knew the truth, she would hate him. Still, he knew that he would have to be honest someday. Oh how he wished to keep his peace for a little longer.

"Bill," she asked, "what's wrong?"

"I need to tell you something. Something you had a right to know years ago. I wanted . . . but I couldn't . . . please, sit down."

She sat and waited, her face a mask of concern and devotion. Bill readied himself and sat down beside her, and with a heavy heart, he prepared to shatter hers. And his.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - I've neglected this fic for quite a while now, and I'm so pleased to have the chance to get back to it. It took a bit of a sentimental detour, which I didn't expect but enjoyed writing. I'm a sucker for angst and for the bittersweet. We'll see if it works for my readers.

I do have a few more ideas for glimpses into Bill and Judith's past, though this fic now falls in the realm of AU as the mysterious Ms. Vardamon departed in Book 11 - sorry to see her go, but I confess that I enjoyed the last book more than any others save the first, especially a more light-hearted and *double-gulp* funny Bill.

Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me and my sporadic updates. On a positive note, my original stuff is going well and might even be published soon! I would not be writing original fiction had I not honed my writing skills in fanfic and received a lot of constructive feedback. For that, y'all have my heartfelt gratitude.

Now on with the show!

* * *

Chapter 5 – Confession

_"Bill," she asked, "what's wrong?"_

_"I need to tell you something. Something you had a right to know years ago. I wanted . . . but I couldn't . . . please, sit down."_

_She sat and waited, her face a mask of concern and devotion. Bill readied himself and sat down beside her, and with a heavy heart, he prepared to shatter hers. And his._

If Judith were still a breather, her breath would have hitched. She was filled with dreadful anticipation. _Be careful what you wish for._ Bill did not often give up his secrets. She had prodded him for years, and he unraveled the tapestry of his past a few threads at a time for her.

Now it seemed as though he was ready to rip a hole in that fabric, and she could feel the weight of that prospect. His blood told her that much. He might have managed to get it all out, too, had they not felt the ominous and overpowering call of their maker.

Lorena was near.

Bill's fangs ran out as he leapt from the sofa. His eyes were trained on the door to their shared rail car. He appeared to be poised for attack.

"Bill," Judith said in a soft, soothing voice that belied her own fear and anger, "calm down, please."

"She has returned," he said, his voice full of cold rage.

"Yes," Judith replied, standing slowly, taking small, measured steps toward the dangerous creature before her, "and I don't want to her injure you as she did before. Or worse."

"She may do as she pleases," he growled, "but not without a fight."

"Look at me, William," Judith urged, "I want you to stay here until I can find Malcolm. Will you promise me that?"

"Find him quickly," Bill replied. She realized she must. Bill would not resist his own foolish lust for retribution long.

Judith moved with Vampire speed, hoping to avoid the call of their maker as she rushed to Malcolm's car. So full of panic was she that she didn't bother to announce herself. Malcolm was busy, as usual, with one of the young stagehands and looked none to pleased at the interruption. But he didn't stop.

She still detested the immodesty of her superior, but now was not the time to comment, nor would it be proper. She averted her eyes from the coupling males and said, "Lorena is near. Bill and I felt her and Bill is ready to do something -"

"Brash and stupid, no doubt," Malcolm finished, gasping. With obvious reluctance, he dismounted and slapped the young man on the rear, "I'm sorry, Ralph, duty calls. Be a good boy and keep the bed warm for me. This shouldn't take too long."

Ralph obeyed, being glamoured, flipped over and stretched out on the bed and sporting an impressive erection that he proceeded to fondle. He even blew a kiss at Malcolm as he pulled on his trousers. Judith resisted the urge to hurry Malcolm along. She could tell he felt tempted to have another quick taste.

"Don't fret, my dear," Malcolm soothed as they walked at the painfully slow pace of humans, "Lorena won't do anything to Bill. Not here in my house."

For the first time since she felt her maker's nearness, Judith also felt an ounce of hope. Malcolm was old. He'd educated Judith enough in the ancient traditions for her to know he was serious about maintaining them. If Lorena mounted an open attack on a fellow vampire on Malcolm's territory, the consequences for her would be dire.

"What will you do?" Judith asked.

"Find out what she wants, for a start. She probably came to collect her share of your profits. The silly wench burns through money like it was kindling!"

They were brought up short by a series of trunks sitting outside of Judith's railcar. Bill stepped outside and stared a hole through them. Judith and Malcolm watched as he lifted the lid on one of them, handling it as if it were something filthy. It was full of cash. The second contained fine clothing. The third was a complete surprise.

"Well I wasn't expecting that," Malcolm drawled. "When did she learn to read?"

"She didn't," Bill said, his icy voice unable to conceal the rage within, "they're for me. She's come to 'win' me back."

Bill stared at the trunk full of books for several minutes. He lifted one of the thick tomes and pulled out a slip of paper from between the pages. Judith caught a flash of charcoal lines and surmised it was one of Bill's drawings.

"What's this?" Malcolm asked, looking from the page to Judith and back to Bill.

"A message," Bill growled.

The air was thick with tension. He crumpled the paper and threw it back into the trunk. He smashed it a moment later.

Judith didn't jump. She had grown accustomed to the violence of their shared natures. Still, outside of the heat of bloodlust and sport, such a display of emotion was considered . . . rude. She looked at Malcolm who remained still as stone. She had no idea what to expect, but she was prepared to defend her sibling.

"Bill," Malcolm said, "why don't you and Judith go for a run? You need to clear your head. Hunt if you wish. Ian tracked some transients heading for the beach a few hours ago. It seems I've got some business to discuss with Ms. Ball."

"You can't stop her . . ."

"No, but you can beat her to the punch. Go, and take Judy with you."

He didn't sound angry, but Judith wasn't prepared to test him. She focused her worry and urgency through her blood, pleading with Bill to listen. He nodded to Malcolm and took off. Judith retrieving Bill's drawing and marveling at the lovely woman he'd drawn. She was the woman, and yet the clothing appeared rather old-fashioned, as did her hair. Strange, she'd never worn her hair in such a style.

Perplexed, she returned to her rail car at Vampire speed and placed the drawing in her traveling trunk. Then she set off after Bill.

* * *

Judith temporarily forgot about William Thomas Compton once she'd slowed enough to take in her surroundings. She needn't have worried. Bill had stopped short as well. Both vampires were caught up in the expanse of water as far as their keen vampire eyes could see. After all of their years of wandering, they'd finally made it to the west coast. San Diego to be more precise. They beheld the wonder and beauty of the Pacific Ocean.

Bill inhaled deeply, allowing the fresh, salty air to caress his nostrils as the warm breeze caressed his sensitive skin. The rhythmic crashing of waves against the beach soothed his rage. Judith felt the anger dissipate through the blood tie, and after a few moments he beckoned Judith to join him.

They stood in companionable silence. Judith knew better than to resume their interrupted conversation. Bill had displayed uncharacteristic fear and agony during his near confession, followed by unbridled rage when Lorena returned. He would be chiding himself, no doubt. Men of his era kept their feelings tightly locked away, and he'd kept that trait during his 'second' life as a means of self-control and defense. His was most likely rebuilding the walls around his heart and soul, so if she wanted him to share _something_, _anything_, now would be the time to try and sneak a peek.

He heaved a weary sigh and asked, "What is it you want to know of me, Judith?"

What to ask? She'd learned a few things about him over the years, of course. She knew, for example, that he secretly wished that he'd had the means to attend the University of Louisiana in his human youth, admiring the educated genteel residents of New Orleans. Of course, his father would never allow it, mistrustful of the free-wheeling and freer-thinking Catholics of southern Louisiana.

But Bill had a fine mind and a jackass stubborn streak, so he procured books whenever he could and spent what little free time the fields afforded educating himself. Lorena had pulled out all the stops by bringing him a trunk load of books, particularly as she herself remained illiterate and had what would later be dubbed an inferiority complex on account of it.

Judith knew all of this, but she didn't know how he'd spent his boyhood days on his father's plantation. Was he the fishing sort? Did he wrestle his brother or neighbor boys, or was he the quiet sort who preferred his own company?

Judith had also learned that he had a soft spot for old-timey hymns that reminded him of the community singings of his human life. That was probably what made him partial to the western swing records he'd acquired during their stay in Texas. She knew this, but she didn't know his favorite color.

She'd come close, but ever since she'd dragged him from that cave where their maker left him to languish, he had closed himself to her even more.

Well, she wouldn't waste this rare opportunity to learn something of Bill.

"Tell me about the best day of your life as a human," she said.

The question took him by surprise, she could tell. She'd taken a chance by dancing around their earlier discussion, but his eyes told her that she'd chosen wisely. She didn't push him and she didn't mention their maker.

Bill looked thoughtful. Perhaps he was searching the vast repository of his memory. His was excellent, but his human life ended years ago. Judith gave him the time and space to choose what he would share with her. Vampires had infinite time, and developed near-infinite patience as they matured.

"I recall the first time I went swimming," he said, a small smile gracing his handsome face, "I mean, the first time I _really_ swam, instead of just splashing around in the shallows with the little 'uns."

"Tell me about it," she said. She'd removed her shoes and stockings so she could feel the soft sand beneath her feet.

"I must have been a little over five years old, just a young pup who wanted nothing more than to be older and do what the bigger boys did. I didn't know at the time that meant hours of backbreaking work in the fields, mind you. In my mind, I'd be free to roam the woods and hunt deer or fish all day. I could run off and build a fort smack in the middle of the woods and just live there and listen to the birds and the bullfrogs."

"Sounds peaceful," she said.

"Anyhow, I'd managed to keep up with some of the Loudermilk boys, cousins on my mother's side, when they ran out to the lake. We'd been blessed with rain that summer and the crops thrived. Since we didn't need to dig watering trenches or carry buckets from the well to water the garden, we had some idle time."

"Idle hands are the devil's tools," Judith said with a laugh, "That was always true with my boys."

"It was true for me as well, though my father did his best to keep me out of harm's way," Bill replied. "He had started teaching me how to swim that very summer. Too many children were lost to fever and flux as it was, and he didn't want to lose me to drowning. One of the Humphrey tots had drown a few years back, you see."

"So your father was careful with you, but you just wanted to run free?"

"I was exceedingly curious and headstrong, even in my youth."

"I don't doubt it. Did you dive right in, or did you have to work up your nerve?"

"I watched the older boys first. Most of my cousins jumped right in, damned fools. I'm surprised one of them didn't get knocked into a cocked hat in the shallows."

Just like Bill to be the observer, she thought. She loved to listen to him reminisce about his olden days, loved the way he spoke with those antiquated Antebellum phrases. He only spoke that way when he thought of the past, and only when he felt at ease. Judith felt pleased that she could put him at ease.

"The Bellefleur boys tiptoed their way in, of course. They all made such a ruckus that I didn't bother to come on out of the bushes. Besides," he said with a chuckle, "the water must have been pretty cold, judging from the size of their . . ."

Judith snorted at Bill's lapse. After all of these years, he still became chagrined when speaking of the male anatomy in her presence, save for in the bedroom. She nudged him and managed to get a chuckle.

"Anyhow, I waited until they all left before I dove in. A foolhardy thing to do in retrospect, but it was like nothing I'd ever experienced. The rush of danger when I went under, the near-silence of immersion, the first gulp of air when I made it to the surface. I didn't flail around like the older boys. Pa taught me to float before he got me swimming proper, so I just leaned back and let the water take me where it wanted."

Bill closed his eyes as he spoke, "I never saw such a shade of blue as I did in that afternoon sky. It was the kind that faded to amber on the horizon with the low sun. I just floated on the water and lost myself in that sky. It was the last time I really felt carefree as a child."

Judith nodded. Life in her human time had been harsh, and children had to grow up much faster than they did these days. It must have been a cherished memory for a man who'd lost so much.

"Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I felt that way sometimes when I was with my Caroline," he continued, "and sometimes I can feel it when I'm with you."

She clutched his hand and kissed it. "You aren't alone in this, Bill. Remember that."

He didn't answer, but he clutched her hand tighter and pulled it to his lips. She felt the wetness of his bloody tears as they fell on the cool flesh of her fingers. His voice shattered her almost as much as his words.

"Lorena made you for me. You know that, but you don't know why."

She froze, clinging to his every word and feeling his tension as well as her own. She felt his sorrow and regret and wanted desperately to stop him from speaking. Whatever terrible confession he felt compelled to make would change everything between them, of that she was certain.

"Bill, please, you don't have to -"

"I'll be damned if I let her tell you! I won't let her use it to taunt you!" he snapped. He was at the outer limits of his control once more if his tone was any indication. Judith had no choice but to listen.

"You need to hear it from me, for I bear the blame for what happened to you, and I cannot keep the truth of it from you any longer. Lorena chose you because you look very much like my Caroline, the first and only human woman I have ever loved. I was foolish enough to follow you home and stare up at your window like a lovesick puppy and she saw. Then she struck."

A thousand thoughts and questions swirled in her mind, along with a thousand emotions. The most heartbreaking burst to the surface first. Had he ever loved her, or was she merely a salve the terrible loss he'd endured?

She didn't have the chance to ask then. After his confession, he ran off into the night, and God forgive her but she could not will herself to follow.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Retaliation

_Bon Temps, present_

"_. . . You were my only peace during those long years. I'll never forgive Lorena, though, for what she did to you, and to me."_

"You should, Bill. I have."

Once again, she surprised him. That was pretty hard to do, considering his age, "You forgive Lorena? How is that even possible?" She saw some of his despair transform into anger, and was glad. Anger wasn't passive. She could help him find his way back from anger. She'd done it before, after his confession and once he'd sated his rage with Lorena.

"Because I didn't offer forgiveness for her. I did it for me. It is a gift I gave to myself, and she hasn't had nearly as much power over me since."

"But she always had the power to call you back, like she did me. Did you know she met the sun?"

"Yes, Sookie told me. Seems we both owe that young human our freedom and our thanks. She must be something special."

"She is indeed," he said. He became lost in thought for a moment, and Judith waited for him to speak again. He gave her his large dark eyes and said, "Lorena cost me Sookie, too."

"I'm not surprised," Judith said, taking his hand, "she was quite jealous."

"But it wasn't just her. I lost Sookie because through deception, vampire politics, and by trying to protect her from Lorena."

"Sounds familiar, dear one," Judith replied, raising a hand to cup his cheek, "I'm guessing Lorena made you pay dearly. I'm sorry she hurt you again. I had hoped after last time she would think more carefully."

"The last time I had Malcolm's blessing. This time . . ."

"Malcolm is gone, too?" she asked, eyes welling with red.

"Yes, along with Liam and Dianne. The great revelation didn't agree with them."

She felt a fresh wave of anger and grief emanate from Bill. She hadn't seen Malcolm and his nestmates since leaving their service, but apparently Bill had born witness to their murders. Bill had borne a great many losses in a relatively short time. She could feel and understood his complicated mixture of feelings in relation to their maker. Their relationship had always been toxic, and after Bill lashed out at her following his forced confession, Lorena had promised to make him pay.

Forgiveness would not come easy for Bill. He was used to ongoing grudges where his maker was concerned.

Judith held him through the shared memory, one of the last of the dark remembrances they'd have to endure before she could help him heal.

* * *

_San Diego, 1930_

Judith wandered back to base camp after tracking the transients and satisfying her blood lust. It felt good, releasing her rage and feeding in the heat of anger and grief, but it was a temporary fix. She needed to see Bill, to hold him and convince them both that they would be all right. They would survive as long as they held onto one another.

She heard raised voices and sensed Bill's outrage. She ran to him. Diane's arms came around her and held her back long enough for Liam to help subdue her. She was older than Diane, and in her agitation, Judith was dangerous.

"Easy, girl," Dianne cooed, "He's gonna be fine. Malcolm's none too pleased with Lorena and he'll make her sorry."

"I need to get to Bill!" she growled, fangs bared.

"No, you can wait here with us and listen," Liam said.

Judith continued to struggle. Bill didn't cry out, but she felt his pain. Lorena hurt him again, and Bill was fighting back. Oh God, she'd surly kill him this time! Judith was on the verge of breaking free when she heard Malcolm's booming voice.

"Stop!"

"He's mine, Malcolm, and he defied me! He always defies me! It is my right to punish disobedience!"

"Not in my house, Lorena!"

Judith relaxed, and she felt Diane and Liam release her, though the flanked her in case she decided to bolt. The three of them moved closer, and she could see Bill on his knees, his face contorted in agony as he clutched his chest. Lorena stood above him, covered in blood and wielding a knife.

"I'll cut out his heart!" she screamed. Judith shuddered. Lorena's madness and cruelty penetrated Judith's being through their blood. "Then he'll be mine, he'll be bound to me forever," she fell to her knees, sobbing, her face streaked with red, "then . . . he'll finally love me."

"I will never, ever, love you," Bill said, his voice ice cold.

"But you love _her_, and I gave her to you! I made her for you! I would do anything for you, William! Why can't you love me?"

"Enough," Malcolm said, feigning boredom, "I've far too many more important things to do this evening to mediate a lover's quarrel. Lorena, pack your things and leave. I don't want to see you back for at least a decade. Maybe two."

"I've come for my children and I'll take them with me," she sniffed, rising and wiping her bloody tears away with a dainty handkerchief.

"No, you won't," Malcolm said.

"What?"

"You heard me. Bill and Judy are far too lucrative for me to let go just yet. I'll give you your usual percentage plus an extra five for your trouble, but they stay with me."

"You have no right! I'll appeal to the king -"

Malcolm's laughter cut her off, "Oh, you'll run and tell the king, will you? And what would he say if he knew about Solomon?"

Her eyes narrowed to angry little slits, "What do you know about Solomon? Lies they told you?"

"You betrayed your maker, Lorena. Left him to die at the hands of humans, humans to whom you exposed our kind. That offense is punishable by death. Shall I fetch the Sheriff of lower California?"

"You wouldn't _dare_!"

In a flash he leapt upon her, gripping her throat, "Do you want to test me, bitch? I'll make you sorry."

"You don't have the appetite or equipment to punish me," she sneered, "unless you've grown tired of buggering your pretty little boys. Do you think you could handle a real woman?"

Malcolm spit on her face and shoved off her small frame, his disgust evident. Looking at Bill, he called out, "Dianne, be a dear and get Bill a donor, will you?"

Dianne disappeared at Vampire speed and re-emerged just as quickly with a woman, one of the harlots they'd taken in as a pet and human helper. She was a particular favorite of Bill's, and he'd always treated her gently.

She gasped at the sight of his wound and knelt beside him, ripping her gown and placing it over his chest. "Bill," she gasped, "what happened to you?"

"Meredith," he whispered, pulling her mind into his as he used his glamour, "Don't you fret now, dear."

"How can I help?" she asked in a dreamy voice.

"Feed me, Meredith. Please feed me."

She leaned in close and he nuzzled her neck before biting. She gripped his shoulders and moaned, trying to push him back and straddle him. He let go and gasped, "Later, Meredith. I need to rest. I shall come and lie with you later."

Meredith whimpered, but Bill leaned in and licked the fang marks to help them heal and then planted a soft kiss on her full lips. "Thank you, Meredith. You go and rest. You'll need your strength for later," he drawled.

She gave him a wicked smile and then allowed Dianne to lead her away. Bill tried to rise, but his strength had not yet returned. Malcolm helped him and called Liam over to escort Bill out of sight long enough for him to recover in privacy. Meanwhile, he ordered Lorena to remain in his presence and await punishment.

Once Liam placed Bill against a nearby railcar, Judith rushed to his side.

"Bill," she cried, placing her hand over his healing chest wound, "What has she done?"

"Leave me!" he growled.

"Take my blood," she said, biting her wrist and placing it to his lips.

He turned away, his face a mask of anger, shame, and longing.

"Bill," she snapped, "Drink. Now." Much as he had been upon her turning, she was cruel to be kind. She could offer comfort later.

He latched onto her wrist and pulled, groaning in pleasure as he healed and as their bond strengthened. Unable to resist, she bit him on the neck and took his blood to reinforce the bond. Bill buried his head in her neck and shuddered.

"Judith," he whispered, "I'm sorry. So sorry . . ." he chanted. She rocked him as he fought to for control.

"Bill," Malcolm called out, "If you're back to rights, I'd like you to join me for a little chat with your maker."

Judith released Bill and helped him stand. He caressed her cheek and said, "Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Judy, I . . ."

"I know."

She watched Bill walk away and joined Dianne and Liam. Their fangs were extended and they panted in excitement. Judith turned and followed their gazes, her fangs involuntarily extending at the sight.

Malcolm had erected a wooden pole in the center of their camp. Lorena was bound to the pole in silver, her naked flesh burning under the metal. Malcolm stood next too their blacksmith, who he'd obviously glamoured, and ordered him to stoke the flames. Judith shuddered. She saw the branding iron.

Without prelude or ceremony, Malcolm placed the hot iron to Lorena's chest and smiled as she cried out in terror and humiliation. He removed the brand, which left a letter 'T' emblazoned upon her skin.

"It's time you learned a little lesson in obedience yourself, Lorena," he said, "not to mention respect." Handing the brand back to the blacksmith, he beckoned another glamoured human, who dabbed powder on the wound as Lorena howled.

"Silver powder," Malcolm said as he prepared the second brand, "don't want you to heal too fast now. You see, this is also a reading lesson for you. You never bothered to learn, did you?"

"Solomon didn't teach me," she gasped, "he wanted to keep me dependent on him."

"Maybe you just lacked motivation. This will help."

Judith closed her eyes. She couldn't block out the screams and sobs, but at least she could block out the horrifying vision. She had to. Part of her, the vampire within, reveled in the torture. The woman in her was repulsed. She also felt revulsion at the sight of Bill, who kept his eyes opened and watched it all.

"There," Malcolm said, "Shall I read your brand to you, or should I let Bill do the honors?"

Judith opened her eyes even as Malcolm uttered the word 'traitor,' now branded on Lorena's chest in charred flesh and silver. It sickened and excited her all at once. She could see evidence of Bill's excitement, too.

"Bill," Malcolm purred, circling the agitated vampire and caressing his chest, his buttocks, and his bulging manhood, "She's yours now. There will be no retribution or retaliation so long as I live. Make her pay."

He ripped Bill's clothing from his body and pushed him toward Lorena. Judith watched in horror and fascination. Lorena was bound and silvered, powerless to stop any assault. Bill was angry, hard, and hungry.

"No," Judith whispered, "Oh dear God, William, no."

Bill approached her, running his hands roughly over her body. She spat at him, her eyes on fire and fangs gnashing. He slapped her and she hissed. Then he insinuated himself between her legs, just on the verge.

"Go ahead, Bill," she panted, "Do it!"

Glaring, he stepped back, leaving her bereft, confused, and hungry.

"No," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because you _want_ me to!"

Bill flew off into the night as Lorena howled her anguish.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Reconciliation

Judith ran her hands over Bill's back to soothe, relieved that he was willing to accept her embrace and her comfort. Sending waves of comfort and understanding through the old bond, she hoped he would accept her blood and allow her to heal him. But first, he needed to let go of the past.

"Now back to you, my dear one," she said, as she held him. "You need to let go of Lorena, let go of all of that sadness and suffering, all of those burdens you've been carrying around since you were turned. One hundred and forty years is long enough, don't you think?"

"I can't forget -"

"You don't have to forget -"

"If you'd let me get a word in edgewise, woman," he offered, releasing her and giving her a half exasperated, half amused expression. She was pleased to see shadows of the old Bill coming through. "I can't forget, because I don't want to lose the memories of those I loved. My wife, my children, all that I've learned, you, Sookie . . ."

"You don't have to lose those memories, Bill. You can just learn to remember without the pain, and without being such a darned old hateful thing that you are sometimes," she said, teasing him and laughing.

He chuckled, too; a deep, rumbling sound that made her smile even broader. "How'd you get to be so smart, and full of salt, to boot?"

"Years of practice," she replied, primly, and then leaned in to brush a soft kiss upon his delectable lips. She remembered all of the wonderful things those lips could do. She hoped to get a nice refresher. Later. _Hopefully not too much later. Time to get down to business. _"Now, William Thomas Compton, lean back, get comfortable, and let's get you healed."

He bent down to remove his shoes, but it took some time and he winced with the effort. Judith moved to help him back up, but he brushed her off. "Let me hold onto what little dignity I have left, Judy," he chuckled, but she knew that he was serious, all right. He was a proud man, and stubborn as an old mule. She let him take his time to settle himself on the sofa, propping some pillows behind his back. He was exhausted by the time he completed this maneuver, so she let him rest a bit whiled she walked to his kitchen and helped herself to a few bottles of TrueBlood.

She'd fed before visiting Sookie, finding an agreeable gentleman at a rest stop in Shreveport and glamouring him after, but she'd be taking no chances. Bill was going to need a few deep feedings to fully heal, and she wouldn't deny him what he needed. When she returned, he gave her a warm smile, the kind that could keep a human girl warm for a winter, and she hitched her dress up a bit so she could straddle him. She removed her shirt and bra to avoid a mess, not having a change of clothes handy. Sometime, even vampires forget a few essentials. The look of appreciation that Bill gave her made any self-scolding thoughts fade into the background.

"I'd forgotten how beautiful you are, Judy," he said, low and husky. Her blue eyes widened in anticipation. The impending blood exchange excited both vampires, and Judith trembled as she unbuttoned Bill's shirt, pausing to brush his small, masculine nipples. She remembered how much he enjoyed being touched there, and was delighted as he shuddered in response to the pleasure. He groaned, his need and desire evident in his eyes, his taunt body, and his extended fangs.

Removing his shirt, she continued to caress his chest and leaned in to kiss him, their tongues and mouths moving in a seemingly effortless dance, though clearly choreographed with plenty of practice. Two sets of extended fangs always required care. She deepened her kiss, as desperate to feel him inside of her as she was to heal him.

"Slow, Judith, slow . . ." he murmured.

"You're hurting, Bill," she whispered, caressing his face, his chest, his arms. "Let me take the pain and make you whole. Let me love you, William."

His hands found her breasts and kneeded them softly, tracing patterns over her taunt nipples with his skilled fingers. He teased each one lightly with his tongue before suckling her deep within his mouth. She panted, heaving unnecessary breaths, an old habit when loving Bill. He'd been her first after her turning and her reaction to his touch was visceral. In spite of her vast experience since then, he could still bring her back to that first time; the deep urgency, lust, and exquisite pleasure borne of his skill and her vampire senses.

She suddenly stiffened, another old habit that she feel into automatically with Bill. He groaned, bidding her to find her focus as he whispered, "No, my sweet, we don't have to worry anymore." He purred, coaxing her back, "She's gone, Judy, she can't stop us or hurt us. We're safe, Judith, oh my sweet, my sweet . . ."

They both remembered all too well the extent of Lorena's cruelty and depravity. When she'd realized the depth of feeling between Bill and Judith, Lorena became jealous and exacted a terrible punishment. She'd often forced them to 'perform' for her, directing them like puppets to destroy any pleasure they derived from intimacy. Worse, she sometimes joined them. Their own bodies and vampire natures betrayed them as they could not help but revel in the depravity in spite of their revulsion.

They'd still found stolen moments, a form of solidarity and rebellion against the demon who controlled them, but the humiliation had taken its toll nonetheless. When he could bear it no longer, Bill had convinced Lorena that he no longer cared for Judith, had grown tired of her company. Vampires who were 'related' often did, so it was plausible to Lorena, and she agreed to send Judith away. It wasn't difficult to convince her. The price, however, had been heavy for both Bill and Judith. Bill was forced to feign devotion to his maker until she grew tired of him. For a while, anyway, until she'd called him back. He learned cruelty and hatred from Lorena. Lucky for Bill and many who knew him in his second 'life,' he didn't forget love. That was thanks to Judith.

She looked into his dark, beautiful eyes. Her own blue orbs glowed with devotion and passion. She knew that he felt the same. In spite of his illness, she felt him stir beneath her. She reached down to caress his growing erection. Trailing kisses down his torso, she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, freeing him from the confines of clothing. She pulled them off, baring him before her hungry eyes.

If she had breath, it would have hitched at the sight. He was beautiful and frail, almost as might have been as a human man. His force of will and strength in spite of his illness humbled her as much as his stubbornness infuriated. William Thomas Compton was a study in contradiction and complexity, passion and calculation, cruelty and tenderness. The wisdom of many lifetimes and the flaws inherent in all humanity wrapped up in a man she could not bear to lose. Kneeling as he reclined on the sofa, she covered his body with soft, reverent kisses.

He watched as she removed her skirt and panties, and then as she stood bare before him. He took in her curves, oh how he adored curvy women; the curve of her ample breasts, of her hips, her face, all so feminine and lovely to Bill. _Modern men are fools. Real women look like women, not like underfed children._ He smiled as she moved back on top of him, and he cradled her on his lap as she caressed his chest, his face, and his thick, dark hair.

She was a gift for which he'd never wished, the price he'd paid for clinging to the memory of his human life. She'd seen him through unbearable darkness and moments of brilliant ecstasy. In his hour of darkness she'd returned once more, thanks to another slip of a human woman he'd loved and lost. In that moment, he tasted bittersweet joy and said a silent prayer of thanks for both.

She took his head in her hands and guided him to her neck, brushing his lips and fangs against her cool skin and teasing him. "Feed from me, Bill," she whispered. "Take my blood and let me heal you."

He paused, inhaling her scent and pulling her body closer to his in a fierce embrace before he looked into her eyes once more, asking final permission. Bill plunged his fangs into her neck and groaned as the rich blood flowed from the wound. Judith moaned and writhed, his hunger fueling her desire. She cradled his head and stroked his hair, crooning encouragement. "That's good, William, drink," she murmured. "Drink deep."

After two more deep gulps, he broke contact briefly to kiss her again. His pallor had already improved, beginning to return from ash to ivory, and his cheeks blushed with a hint of rose. "Oh Judith," he whispered. "Thank you."

"You need more," she panted.

"Yes, but I need you, too," he sighed, pressing into her thigh. Blood hunger was inexorably linked to other, equally primal hungers.

She lifted her body, positioning herself over his engorged flesh. Oh how she'd missed his skin, his touch, and his cool voice. They both cried out when she took him inside her, trembling with the excitement of their reunion, their blood bond strengthening the intensity. Their connection ran deep, with their long history, sharing a maker, and now that he'd taken her blood again, she felt him. He was healing, growing stronger. He was also finding peace. She closed her eyes and smiled, letting him flow through her and flowing through him. When she opened them again, she saw him staring up at her in wonder.

She brushed his cheek with the back of her hand. "Bill," she sighed, "it is so very, very good to see you again."

He arched a brow at her, flashing a wicked, fangy grin. "Really?" He asked, adding a powerful thrust that elicited an equally fangy gasp. "How good?"

She bent down, planted a kiss on his forehead, his nose, and his lips. Just before she plunged her fangs into his neck, she whispered into his ear, "This good."

She only took a bit of his blood, lest the residual poison spread to her system. He hadn't fully healed, but she couldn't resist. Their blood exchanged, they moaned and writhed together, moving closer to completing their communion of the flesh. He felt her, too, her joy at their reunion and the depths of her devotion. In truth, he still wasn't sure that he was worthy of such devotion. Yet, he remembered the truth of his words to Sookie. Love has little to do with the worth of the object of love. He felt her gentle chiding, and he smiled at her again. It was a gift, this honesty they shared. They are and were the same, Judith and Bill. He vowed that he will not lose her again, and she smiled at his thought.

"Bill," she panted, nearing her apex, "drink from me, please. Drink from me again!"

They quickened the pace of their lovemaking, and he bit again. The sensation was pure ecstasy and they both fell into a frenzy of synchronized passion. She cried out her release as he drew deeply on the wound, and he followed. With great effort, he detached from her neck and rested his head on her shoulder as they recovered. They remained in this embrace, joined together and swathed in tranquility for a long time. She stirred first, kissing him gently before extricating herself from him and quenching a deep thirst with two more TrueBloods. She placed an open bottle beside Bill and dressed.

"I need to feed now," she said, pulling her shirt back over her head, "I'll be back in an hour. In the meantime, I want you to think about a few things for me."

"What do you want me to think about?" He asked, grinning up at her like a fool.

"Here's the deal, William. I am going to stay with you for a week, so we can catch up." She smiled, giving him a light kiss. "And so I can make sure you've fully recovered. After that, the ball's in your court."

"How do you mean?"

"You have some business to finish here, I'm sure, before you'll be free to travel."

"Travel?"

She nodded. "Yes, travel. I expect you'll want to visit Little Rock, for starters. After that, we'll go to Europe."

"Europe, huh?" He considered. He remembered promising her trips to exotic locales, back when the used to daydream about running away from Lorena.

"Yes, it's about time you met Solomon. And, you owe me a trip to Paris, remember?"

"Oh yes," he replied. "I remember very well."

"Good," she said. "It's about time you quit moping and pining your afterlife away. You still have a purpose, Bill." She grew still and serious. She kept his gaze until he nodded, acquiescing. "The first and most important, at least for the moment," she nipped him lightly on the shoulder before she continued, "is to service my physical needs in every way, shape, and form I see fit."

She teased him, punctuating each word with light nips and kisses. She yelped in surprise when he pulled her down to him and reversed their positions, pinning her beneath him and planting a long, deep kiss on her lips. Seemed he was feeling better and stronger already.

"What about _my_ needs, Ms. Vardamon?" He crooned in his coolest, sexiest Southern drawl.

"Seems like I've been doing a damned fine job meeting your _needs_, Mr. Compton," she said sternly, before bursting into a fit of giggles. He helped her up and sent her off into the night with a kiss, and with an admonition to hurry back.

Bill sat in his home, drinking his synthetic blood and feeling content for the first time in untold years. He penned a note of thanks to Sookie, deciding to leave it under her front door to find in the morning. As Judith requested, he spent his time alone thinking of many things. He decided his course. He would make peace with Sookie, with his fellow vampires, perhaps even Eric Northman. Someday. Later. He smiled. He would make peace with his dead maker, leaving the dark memories behind. He would make peace with his nature, and, with Judith's help, he would make peace with himself. His course was clear.

Reconciliation.

Fin

* * *

A/N – This one was bittersweet, not just because of my angst fixation, but because of how things turned out with Judith in the book universe. Sigh – maybe she'll make an appearance on True Blood. I'm glad I had the chance to write her and delve into Bill's past.

Thanks to my fellow Bill-shippers for the love (and to those die hard Eric fans who've dropped by and shared some love, too – like my dear cyberpal, Duffie, who got me hooked on the books and show in the first place!).

Now off for some more goofy goodness with my funny Bill fic!


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